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I finally figured out how to get page layouts for my Blogger Spot. Man I'm stupid. Sometimes I feel like Mikey from The Mikey Show. He sometimes has the hardest time understanding the simplest of things. So do I. :(

It's raining now. I love the rain. I wanna go outside right now with a notepad, pen, and my guitar and figure out that song My Uncle and I have been trying to writre. It's a song he started for his late-brother Greg. I jumped in a wrote a couple of lines for it. I've been trying to figure out lyrics for it. I've never written lyrics for a song before so this'll be challenging. I've been tinkering around with lyrics and, so far, have only come up with line. I think it's a good opening line.

That's it for now. Until next time..... For the Horde

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It's Valentine's Day today. WOO HOO. I wish I could've gotten Ginny something better than I did. I got what I could get though. I'm thinking of, tomorrow, taking Daniel and CJ to Build-A-Bear and getting her a Build-A-Bear. Don't know yet.

Gotta get back to work.

That's it for now. Until next time...... Shotgun shells are bad for your health

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I never thought that there would come a day where I would have a journal, let alone an online journal. WEIRD

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So, Tegan's birthday is coming up. She's gonna be 2. She's so awesome.

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I'm soooooo pumped for Baseball. I wanna go to a FEW games this year. I will. Ginny and I are gonna go to a few. Also, I take my dad for a few. It's a special thing, for me, when my dad and I go to games. It takes me back to my childhood when we would coach my baseball teams. He knows soooo much about sports. He's great. I love being able to go to Padres' games with him.

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I'm working right now, but don't tell my boss; Wendy. I'm not supposed to be on the internet for non-work related stuff. I switched departments about 4.5-5 months ago. Right now though, I'm doing work for my old department. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS FOR A LITTLE OVER 2 YEARS. What the hell was I thinking. The IRA dept is sooooooooo much better than the SDC dept. There are people here who've been doing this for nearly 10 years. HOLY SHIT!!! Crazy. My dad and uncle are 2 of the people that have been doing it for almost 10 years. WOW

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Oh, and another quick little tid bit, just in case you were wondering. I don't give a fuck who wins the Presidential Election!! For some reason, I never really cared about politics and presidency. Don't know why!!!

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That's it for now. Until next time..... Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.

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This is Hawthorne. Who is this? We have Agent Hawk. He's dead..... too bad.

6 more days until Iron Maiden. Can't fuckin' wait. I do feel bad though. Tegan and Sara is coming to Pomona and we can't go. 1) it's sold out, 2) we both would have to work. There's always next time. I really want Ginnyto be able to see Tegan And Sara. I wanna see em' too. They're pretty damn good.

There's this jackhole on The Mikey Show right now talking all sorts of shit. What a fuckin moron. Why is the world full of so many morons???

That's it for now. Until next time..... Love you. I'm out

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Why am I lazy? Why can't I get up off of my ass and clean my apartment? Why do I have to wait until the shit gets out of control before I go, "Damn, look at this place!!! It looks terrible"??? It sucks that I don't keep the apartment vlean at all times. I'm going to try to keep things clean all the time.

Another thing. I don't know how to ask Ginny if we can have a time out of the night where we just read. I like to read. I really do. I've normally been getting to work early so I can read my book. I don't really have much time at night. We're either @ Pool, Bowling, Karaoke, or watching tv. I wish i could be able to say, "Baby, I'd like to have reading time, or a time where I/We can just read". I might try it. I don't know.

Just wanted to get that out.

That's it for now. Until next time..... Follow the Yellow Brick Road

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Hawk. We need you to activate your transponder key. Without it, we can possibly find out where you are. The building you are in, is 43 floors. We don't know where to look. HURRY

I need help. I need motivation to lose weight and drag my ass to the gym. I really want to look into joining the Military. I finally ran in by Ginny and she was very supportive. I think that that might be our solution to everything. My dad told me that the Reserves don't get all of the benfits that Active Duty do. I don't know aboui that though. I gotta check.

Baseball season is starting again. I really love basebal, and can't wait to go to Padres games. I played Baseball all through my childhood and can't wait for Baseball season to start.

7 more days till IRON MAIDEN!!!! Damn I can't wait. It's gonna be soooooo cool to see the Somewhere Back In Time Tour. AWESOME

That's it for now. Until next time..... Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to Suffering ~ Yoda

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Hawk.... we did it. I dont' if you'll get this in time. But we're coming. WE know where you are. Stay safe. Remember......... Protect the CodE no matter what!

So, I'm in a weird part of my life. I've finally come to the point where I don't like my job anymore. It is too fucking political and full of bullshit. If you aren't Management or good friends in the "Management inner-circle" you get the shaft, man!!! It sucks. I need something knew. I need something worth while.

I can't become a Manager. With the schedule that Ginny and I have, I would be very hard on the weeks we have the kids. So, basically, I am working a job I do not like and cannot be promoted in. YEAH ME. I'm fine with not being able to be promoted. I don't think I would really want to either because I don't really like it here.

t sucks that Poway is so far, because I know that I can walk right into there, throw down my Resume and they would hire me. I just can't because of where they live; it's too far.

I don't really know what to do. I don't know how to provide for Ginny and the kids, better than I already am.

I've been tinkering around with the idea of joining the Reservist Military. I think that it would be a great oppurtunity for me to learn who I really am, and become the man I need to be. It would mean 2 incomes for me and plenty of life experience.

The only downfall is that I have to lose abuot 40-50 lbs. It's not impossible, but maaaaaaaan it's gonna be hard. I see people on The Biggest Loser, and think to myself; these guys are just Joe Schmoe's like myself. I can do that. But, I'm soooo unmotivated. I think that the idea of joining the Military is goiing to help me change my life, as far as my health.

Whether I join the miliary or not, losing 40-50 pounds will be incredible. I will be a different person. I've said it time and time again that I DO NOT like the way I look. I have a very big issue with my weight. However, over the last 4 years, I've done nothing really to change that. I've done nothing to lose weight. I didn't care.....

I was a 24-year-old who stilled lived @ home. Pretty fuckin' lame, huh? I didn't give 2 shits about losing weight and exercising. I didn't have a girlfriend because of the way I looked. I didn't really go out much because of the way I looked. Aside from Pool and Bowling, I was a bit of a social outcast. I didn't like big crowds, or clubs. I was never the cool guy. I never fit into that crowd. Everytime I tried, I always felt like a fucking idiot. I was made fun of or felt left out. I know that part of me is saying to go tell of them to go fuck themselves for not letting me in their crowd. Telling me that if someone is going to not include me or make fun of me, I'm too good for them anyways. But the other part of me, always wanted to fit in and be cool and be appreciated and looked up to. I always wanted to be the guy who could go to the beach my with buddies and hang out with all the girls in bikinis. I always wanted to be in the group that, when people saw us they'd say, " WOW! I wanna be like them". That never happened.

I couldn't even fit in amongst the people in The Police Academy. Even they made of fun and never really allowed me to fit in. So after all of this, what was my answer each and everytime?

To crawl into my room and baracade mysekf in there for days. Only coming out for food, and to go to work. Video Games and TV.... NONSTOP!! Never exercised, never got outside. All I did was get fatter and fatter. It sucks.

10 months ago, had I been the proper weight, I would have signed my life over to The United Sataes Navy and left everything behind in San Diego. I would've only returned to see my family. I wanted out of San Diego, I needed to be free. Not being allowed into the NAVY was crushing blow to my ego. I can't fit in with the " IN CROWD " and I can't even fit in with the fucking Military.

However, I was rewarded a few months after that. I met my Soul Mate. I know, in my heart, that she is the person that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. If I would have joined the Military, I would have never met my Ginny.

It's funny that I didn't join becasue now, after meeting her, I'm thinking of joining. WEIRD

That's it for now. Until next time..... Up The Irons